Mercury Retrograde 3.12.12

Thoughts Become Things 

(draft reworked from original written in May 2007)

Patterns surround me, 
richness abounding,
a steady static solid.


Beneath the stubborn stolidity,
Balance begets lucidity.


But habits become rituals,
become designs, become addictions,
become excess, excess, excess…


Nothing exceeds like excess.
Moderation supersedes, succeeds, excess.


We exist to obsess,
as the pattern and the solid,
an expanse within detail,
we're perfection made squalid.


I look to the cold, dark midnight,
blue-black, black-blue,
and tiny dots shimmer back,
far between and few.

A crater faced moon-man whispers worldly views,

while the all-or-nothing battle has me beaten, bloody-bruised.

I wonder what else may I entertain to abuse?

We're always going overboard, we give too little too late.
We push the season, or fall short, trying to play it safe.


Where do I draw the line in the sand,
When I lose myself in the story lines 
scrawled on my retched-etched hands?


Butting skulls up against the glassy stratosphere,
where evaporation wastes not wants not a single tear.
Certain as daylight, from one extreme is born another.
How long will I last before this dream is smothered?


What reason for the seasons of cycles that won't shatter?
Toiling and recoiling, this fragmented demented chatter,
Unraveling tethers of torturous pleasures,
Finding comfort in the horror that none of this will matter...


Are my habits becoming addictions,
or are my addictions becoming religions?
Upending unending rhetorical questions,
as communication circles backwards so neatly.


Blinded and bleary but ever so discreetly,
I lead myself down a labyrinthine path,
open wide with dead-end queries:


Either I do or I don't; I will or I won't.


We fear the unquestioned answer,
and so forego the chance to wonder,
Complacently we fall down under,
A spell that casts incurable cancer.


Will I? Can I? Do I? Should I?


Does a yellow brick road lead to gold at the end of a rainbow?
Will I disappear ever happily after into a sinking sunset?
Or shrink away, self-implode, and lose my lightning powered thunder?


The only question is HOW. The only answer is NOW.